SHORT!!!

When I was in Vietnam, a significant date that everyone kept track of was your DEROS (Date Eligible for Return from Overseas). When you came within 100 days of your DEROS, you were considered a Short-timer or SHORT (for short). I'm reminded of this as I count down the days, hours, minutes and seconds till I hit my Re-purpose date (sometimes called retirement) at 5:00 PM this Friday.

One of the benefits of being SHORT was the privilege of boasting about your status. These boasts took the form of "I'm so short that...". I feel the need to share some, so here goes: 

"I'M SO SHORT THAT"........ 

-When I jump out of bed, I free fall for 3 minutes before I open my chute! And then it takes all day to climb out of my boots!
-I could parachute off a dime!
-I had to parachute off my bunk to the floor today!
-I can walk on stilts under a pregnant amoeba!
-I am knee high to a tadpole!
-I drink coffee with a long straw because I can't reach the table!
-I have to jump up to look down!
-I can play handball against a curb!
-They use my height to measure jungle boot tread!
-I could jump off the edge of a quarter and scream "AAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh" all the way down!
-I was too short to be seen at my farewell party!
-I have to blouse my flak vest inside my boots!
-I have to look UP to a 2nd Lieutenant!
-I have to stuff paper in my boots to see out!
-I could sit on my thumb and let my feet dangle!
-I can sleep in a matchbox!
-I have to part my eyebrows to trim my toenails!
-You can see my feet on my driver's license!
-I can walk under a worm without bending over!
-I can sit on a dime and dangle my feet!
-I have to use a ladder to scratch a snake's belly!
-I left yesterday!
-I could trip on a dime!
-I can't even carry on this conversation!
-My feet don't touch the ground!
-I can't even stand on a dime to see over a nickle!
-I have to look up to see down!
-I don't have to open the door to leave the room!
-By the time you recognize me, I'll be gone!
-During firefights, I just crawl under my rucksack!
-During incoming, I have my personal sandbag to get under!
-I am next!
-I won't write another letter, because I'll beat it home!
-I can hide behind a blade of grass!
-You don't really see me, I'm just a figment of your imagination!
-I got lost in my boots, just putting them on!
-I can sit on a dime and dangle my legs!
-I can walk under a pregnant ant with a top hat on!
-I need a ladder to step up on the curb!
-I need a step stool to reach the piss tube!
-I'm too short for long conversations!
-You need a magnifying glass to see me!
-I have to stand on tip-toes to see out of a tank track!
-I'm counting seconds!
-I might not start another letter, 'cause I'll be gone before I finish it!


I've had a countdown clock running on this blog for the past few weeks, but in the low-tech era of 1969, this is what a Short-timer used to keep track of his remaining time to DEROS

I'm back in the same mode as I was pre-DEROS. All I can think about is "what's next?". I have a lot of plans for my re-purposed years and can hardly wait to get at them. I just hope I can remember what they were.

Tom Rush - Remember

There's Gold In Them There Hills

Yesterday, the Leos took a Sunday drive to Cripple Creek, about 25 miles from Woodland Park. Cripple Creek lies on the west side of Pikes Peak. It is known as The World's Greatest Gold Camp.

Cripple Creek - The World's Greatest Gold Camp

The picture above was taken at an overlook above Cripple Creek. The location is on the edge of an ancient volcano which is laced with gold. Gold was discovered here in 1890 by a local cowboy, Bob Womack. In 1891 the Cripple Creek Gold Mining District was formed. At its peak around 1900, over 500 mines were in operation in the District. In the 71 years of operations, the District produced  about 21 million ounces of gold, worth over $33 billion in today's market. This is more gold than was retrieved in the California and Alaska gold rushes. After lying dormant from 1962 till 1995, gold is again flowing from mines in the District.

But today the main business of Cripple Creek is gambling. Several casinos make it a popular tourist destination. The Leos didn't try our luck this trip. It so happened that this weekend was a large motorcycle rally in Cripple Creek, so the downtown was blocked off to non-motorcycle traffic. The rally originated in Woodland Park on Saturday. It was a Salute to American Veterans Rally, that included an escorted ride (meaning streets in town were blocked for the bikes to travel as a group) from Woodland Park to Cripple Creek. I was in town doing laundry when the ride kicked off. The stream of of bikes passed for 45 minutes. It was an impressive gathering. If I had a bike, I'd love to have participated.

 Of note, I didn't see one bike with a dog on-board. Bummer.